Friends are said to be family you get to choose. Family, Blood Relatives, and distinguished household members are something altogether different. What’s bind family together can be the same thing that tears them apart. Some family conflicts explode into years of silence and offenses due to a misunderstanding or disagreement. It’s one of the most awkward interactions that we can have with people that we love, and undoubtedly the valued relationship that suffers harm, which is precisely why the devil is after you and your relationships with your family.
The family knows your deep dark secrets, your weaknesses, your frailties, indiscretions, and poor judgment. The family dynamic must be protected like the valuable asset that it is, and although there will be difficult times, family is your rock. Family is there to bridge the gap from the bad divorce that you suffered, lifted you up when you were fired from your dream job, and held your hand when you went bankrupt and lost everything. Family is the social part of your life that has no substitute, and the history and bond are your undeniable refuge.
So why are so many families on the splits and refusing to seek reconciliation and to forgive? Because some of the most difficult people to forgive, are the same people who you love the most. After all, we can sometimes take those for granted who love us unconditionally; simply put it’s natural to think those people will always be there, and even if you withhold your forgiveness it’s someone else’s fault, not yours right?
What’s fundamentally wrong with the concepts of unforgiveness especially among family is that it makes you more miserable than the person that you are angry with. There is a genuine level of loyalty that must accompany the family dynamic, and even in the face of hurt and disappointment, reconciliation and the harmonized co-existence is vital. When its all said and done, forgiveness is your only viable option. Otherwise you fall prey to the devil’s divide and conquer trap!
What would life be without those who love you unconditionally? It would be dry, empty, and non-congruous. Be the person who reaches out to say I love you, and engage whatever adaptability is required to right the wrong. Even “IF” you did nothing wrong, and know that this was simply a big misunderstanding, pardon your loved one, exonerate them, and just like in the legal system, announce an acquittal; clearing the air, and deliver family amnesty to those you love.
The backyard BBQ’s, Saturday morning phone calls, Sunday dinner, and the daily text will forever prove worth the investment. Make the first call, at the least, concede that you will be the one to apologize, clearing the air and waving the white flag. It’s much better to forgive even when you know you are not the guilty party than to lose a stubborn loved one who without your release of the offense may never heal themselves. It’s all relative, and they can thank you later when the relationship is stronger than ever, and you finally get to talk about the offense on a level of trust without the feelings of rage and contempt.
In cases where a family member rejects your apology, and the reuniting seems like an impossibility, remember your hands are clean, your heart is pure toward God, and the consequences of your loved ones long-term anger becomes an issue of accountability between them and God; which won’t bode well for them until they forgive.
Continue to pray for peace for all things are possible with God by faith.
Proverbs 11:29 Whoever troubles his own household will inherit the wind, and the fool will be servant to the wise of heart.
Mark 11:25 Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.